The End of a Year Long Era

So I'm desperately trying to finish this blog before the new year. I probably shouldn't have started it so close to 11 pm. I'm currently at Miss Michelle's house having fun with many different shirts and hair fun things. So in the fashion of one of our older blogs, Michelle and I cranked up the Owl City and took pictures. Giggle fests and mania ensured as we goofed it up for her webcam and my camera and got ready to share them with you guys. so here we go. 

 This is just because we're great friends like that. 

They so mysterious..

Adventure!

Things Michelle hates...

Pondering the yo yo

FOUND YOU!

Spirals!

Racially insensitive?

Don't mess with us

Doing the New Year right

What do you see?

HAHAHAHAHAH

We are thinking.

I turn my nose at you

DERP

HAHAHAH, I love Michelle.

More on facebook!!

Happy New Years!

Good bye old year!!

Discombobulated

So it's the middle of the night and my head's just a whirl of activity again. I have so much just going on that I don't even know what to focus on. All of it's too personal to just go on about on here but the emotional crusade that's happening isn't.

If I had to choose colours for what I'm feeling, I think I would choose reds, black, gray, yellow, blue and brown. I don't know exactly why, but that's what comes to mind. Sometimes when my mental state is in turmoil I just try to imagine it in colours. It distracts my mind and is harder to  do than it should be. I'm pretty sure I can see colours in my head but every time I try to focus on it, it fades away like the little floaties in the corner of your eye. I dream in colour so it shouldn't be so hard to think in colour, don't you think? Try it. Think about the colour baby blue. Can you see it? I can't. I know what it looks like. I just can't see it in my head. The brain is just funny like that I guess. I know it's capable of forming pictures in colours and such but actually try to have it do that and it's all 'oh noes I can't do that! What you making me do, fo? I can't do that! Bad, Sofia, Bad!"

Minds are just funny funny things. They reap some serious havoc to anyone trying to use them. The more you think the worse it gets. It's capable of such amazing things and processes but fails you the more you focus on them. It's like those crazy 3D art things. You know those crazy pictures where you have to not focus on them to get the picture to focus then focus on it to tell what you're seeing and all you get is a headache and everyone has to look them up in the back of the book to know what they are looking for before they can see it. I used to be passably good at those things but then I didn't see one for a long time and next time one was brought to my attention I sucked at it. My English teach in high school had a Disney one. I could see the Mickey ears on the cover but nothing else. I looked all of them up in the back and even though I could get the picture to pop, I couldn't actually see anything. I failed horrible at it.

Seeing things for me is a more attuned skill than smelling and tasting though. I have a horrible sense of smell and taste. It's interrelated for sure. You need one for the other, but mine's just horrible. I can't smell most things that other people smell and I don't have a strong sense of taste anymore. I'm not sure when things started turning this way for me but during all of this year for sure. I still smell things but subtle and some obvious things, I just don't realize some even when other people notice and bring it up. Me nostrils fail me.

You know what doesn't fail me? My hearing. I hear things I'm probably not supposed to hear. Like late at night when all through my room things are creaking. I swear I can hear the same noises my hamsters used to make in their cage of eating and roaming around, which could mean mice but for the life of me I can't find them anywhere in the room or even places they could be hiding. I just hear noises and things everywhere. I've learned to ignore most of them, but geeze I can't believe how many creaking noises there are everywhere I go.Not just creaking just little things here and there that you only hear if you stop and just listen. That's also a great thing to just do sometimes. It really causes fun with your head and perspectives. I just don't recommend it for people with night time jitters to do it at night before falling asleep. The noises you'll hear will mess with your imagination and you'll never get to sleep. Ever again in your life. Sorry if I cause this for you. I hear there's a drink called Sleepytime that will fix that.

Enter Scottish accent

Robert. Robert was met through an online chat site and morphed into someone that's, as Michelle once put it, "like a pillow you scream into." Living somewhere in the UK, Robert is just a person behind a mask that I've had to talk to about most problems in my life. He listens and helps as he can but for the most part I can count on him to give me a good joke that makes me feel better no matter what. He's got such a literal sense of humor I can't help but laugh.

We have no idea who he really is, but honestly, it doesn't matter. He's a nice unconnected, mostly unbiased place we have to go to when we need it. He's cheaper than a therapist. He's freaking far out of this world while being grounded better than anyone. He's insane yet more sane than anyone I know. He owns way too many socks and blames it on friends and family. He doesn't know how to accept gifts but is great at giving them when he wants to. He's plays innocent but hes really calculation and will have a joke about that when he reads it.

Living in the UK, he's missed out on some great shows that are banned from there, but I've been able to show them to him. His view from the other side of the 'pond' is one that's really been invaluable to me lately. It's been great having a non-American view of the world to make some decisions. Robert really is a great addition to my internet family. He's kind, caring, compassionate, and discrete. He handles things well with a level head you could straighten pictures with, but is hilarious when you can surprise him or stump him. Food's always a good place to go, when you just don't know anymore.

A great artist on top of everything, even if recently he hasn't had time to make something inspiring and awesome. He has a great eye though when he cares to share it. Biking in the middle of the night is probably what helped him develop it. As I write this I can just visualize his responses and I'm already laughing. I hope he doesn't buckle under the pressure. Robert is pretty amazing and I'm glad I've had him to talk to and confide in.

Cheers!

Freshman the other one.

Ah Aaron Curth is a much abused freshman. He's a quiet yet hilariously outspoken guy. The contradiction is just him. He seems such a reserved person but the more comfortable he gets around you the crazier a person he becomes. Aaron's something special in that way. He's kind and caring. He doesn't beat around the bush. He's quick with a joke and able to catch on to any situation and add to the fun of them.

Aaron's been fun to know here at Miami. He's a more steadfast student than I could ever hope to be, but sadly it's not rubbing off on me. I really wish it would for I really need to gather some habits like his such as bed early and studying. He's a great example for me pretty much and a nice companion for long rides in the car to church. He really mellows out the dynamic set by Lara and I and brings a great balance to any group he's in. Aaron's someone quite special.

Papa G

Papa g is/was probably the most influential teacher I have ever had. He was that one teacher to me. He is the one person that I can probably credit with morphing me into the person I became in high school to be melded later in college. I spent more time with him than any other teacher with band and aiding and such and that probably contributed to it. He was firm yet allowing. I got away with so much crap I probably shouldn't have in his room. It was the one place in the school I could go to to feel at home and relaxed.

The school's band program owe pretty much everything to him nowadays and I hope beyond anything that they realize it. Papa is a kind, firm, sometimes temperamental teacher that is the perfect blend of young and fun yet older and knowledgeable that works for teens in high school and junior high. He's not an old fuddy duddy yet which makes him seem that much more connectible to a high school mind. It's not as weird talking about teen things around him since we didn't have to explain every little thing to him. He still remembered what it's like being a child in school and understood us. He also knew the destruction I was capable of and kept me in line more often than not.

Band was the best part of my day because of Papa. I couldn't get enough of that class. His keen sense of music choices, his sadistic ways of abusing his conducting powers just to prove a point and make sure we were watching him, the way he'd whip out his iphone like it had the answer to everything. The way he'd make me do all his errands no matter what period it was just because he could. Which is is kind of jerky now that I think about it. But whatever.

Papa, raising a glass to you. Never change.

She has to howl at the moon, she's a Wolford.

Lara Wolford is something like I would never have expected. Having someone like her introduced to me before college was possibly the single greatest thing ever to happen. She's been a great insight to the college scene as well as someone reliable (unless I'm sick and dying and need a ride to the hospital) and hilarious that made the transition even easier to make. Compassionate, understand and a great listener, Lara is someone you'd want by your side always. She's able to joke about anything and everything and accepts people pretty easily, dark spots and all.

For all the jokes she makes, she's actually a pretty intense and caring person and very insightful and discrete when you need her to be. She's pretty darn fantastic.

Heck yeah, Lara.

I said what? Jenny that's what.

Jennifer Adkins is too much for words. She has more energy than all the ions of carbon. Jenny has been such a great friend over the years. We may not have as much time for each other anymore but she's still someone I can rely on if I need it and that's one of the most amazing things about her. She's a steadfast and caring person. She will always be there for everyone that needs it. Her heart knows no bounds.

Jenny was my counterpart for years. She fascinated me as a kid. She was someone that was cool and daring while I just thought about being like that. She never could teach me to skateboard but by golly she sure tired hard. Jenny is just obtusely amazing. She's a trip and a half around the world. She's muffins fresh from the oven. She's the sun during a snow storm.

Rock on Jenny. Rock on.

Mr. Kossmann, Yeah it's just Bryan.

There is way too much that can be said about Bryan. I think I'm just going to start listing adjectives and see where it goes. Bryan's fun, energetic, sympathetic, hilarious, jolly, smart, outlandish, random, imaginative, extreme, intense, caring, great, amazing, snuggly, xylophone, spirited, non-linear, patient, kind, soulful, direct, groovy, jazzy, zippy, eccentric, daring, fun, kid-like, like a limerick, masterful, quirky, unique, taboo, vixen, and the perfect instructor.

The time spent with Bryan in band was the most amazing time ever. He made learning anything fun. He wrote us the most amazing piece and he became the great friend a lot of us needed. Bryan has great taste in music and movies as well. He was the first adult I met that loved Studio Ghibli as much as Michelle and I did. That alone made him the greatest man alive to me.

He will always be the one that showed us the greatest visual ever as well as the wonderful image I will always have of him in a baker's hat. I mean, someone like hi that was also an employee in a bakery? It was just too much. Bryan is truly the greatest ever and not enough can ever be said about him.

Raise your glass high for this man.

Saltine!

I haven't gotten enough time to talk to Matt Stewart recently, but man, when I do get to, I know it's going to be great. He clashes in interests with me in almost every category yet we use it as a learning experience not hatred for each other. He's pretty freaking amazing. I don't think I know a single man that's as loving and caring as Matt. He loves with all his heart and it's obvious to anyone. He doesn't hide anything.

Matt is hilarious and great. I don't always understand what he's trying to communicate to me, mostly cause I don't speak professional sports but still, we manage along in our own mini language of understandings. I know if I can talk him into hanging out with the group it's going to be an interesting night, that will probably end with me getting physically hurt somehow because of Matt.

Someone special. Just special.

Raised in a Jacob Barnes

There's so much I can say about Jacob but most of it I think is protected by the government and my mentioning it will be a warrant for my death.

Jacob is a special and amazing guy. He has his own way of seeing everything and anything in the world. It's a view of the world I don't think I could ever live without having known it now. I can go to him with pretty much anything and he'd help me as long as he wasn't busy eating the heart of a a small child or something. In these cases it's best to just let him finish..

Jacob has been a great friend over the years (2) that I've known him. It was an unexpected friendship but a great one that I'd never trade for anything. His demented view of the world makes for quite and adventure in life. He's the anti Mariah you could pretty much say. She's the sun, hes the total solar eclipse that blocks out the light but is just amazing and pretty and awesome to see at the same time.

Jacob's brand of insanity is one that makes life interesting and quite fun. I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley but I'd take him with me every time I had to go into a dark alley.

All this, but he's also like a cuddly teddy bear at the same time. Jacob's a tough guy but also a sweetie. He's actually a loving and compassionate guy. He's the perfect mixture. I wouldn't have him any other way.

They call the wind Mariah

-inhale- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

This is pretty much how any encounter with Mariah will be. Here's someone that you can't be around and not just start laughing at the amazing time and topics and conversation you will be having. Mariah can make any day brighter. Even when her moods less than sour, she can muster up a sunny deposition and make you laugh.

Mariah will make me feel lazier than I already usually feel. I mean she's a freak with her love for running. I know plenty of people love running but wow Mariah. Darn her and her athleticness. She can make anyone feel like they don't try enough to be fit.

Mariah is a great person with wonderful compassion and insight to anything and everything. She's like the greatest person you can go to with problems. She'll at the least be able to make you laugh and smile. She has special powers when it comes to that. She's gotta be a mutant or government testing. But then again look at her parents and it's obvious how she became such an amazing, loving person.

Raise up for Mariah.

Jolly Giant Jared.

So yeah. Jared. Hm.

Jared's amazing. He's one person that lives up to his convictions and his beliefs no matter the situation. He's someone that you can never say is false or a poser. He wears his heart, not only on his sleeve but with a giant flashing neon sign above his head. Jared thinks he's funny and that's hilarious. He's a musician that's actually pretty decent. An ok teacher and quick to judge.

He's tall and gawky yet it's part of his charm. Jared's a pretty great friend. His love for his dogs is something unmatched by anything as well. He's warm and inviting and actually a lot faster at running than he seems. kinda scarily actually..

His humor is the greatest thing ever, it's so subtle. He's like a humor ninja. It comes out of nowhere and you have no hope but to laugh. I think I can dedicate at least one ab just to him. He's someone quite special. Jared's pretty rad.

To Jared!

Vicki Vicki don't be Creepy.

Up next is the person that I kinda fear getting mad at me if I don't do her near the top. Mrs. Egbert, commonly referred to as Vicki. I refuse to call her Tori like the people in St. Marys. I just can't do that. It's too weird.

Vicki is the person I've had for the hardest times of my life and some of the more random times. I'm forever getting lost on the way to her house, old and current and I can't follow a thing she says. One of the few people I know that love cats as much as I do and doesn't judge me for it thusly.

Vicki is caring, compassionate, and too giving for her own good. I wish sometimes she would think more about what she wants but her nature is to care for everyone else before herself. She can be a bit dense sometimes but reminders gentle or bludgeon to the head will solve that.

An amazing cook that needs to stop trying to feed me all the time as well as needs to stop eating/drinking so much dairy as she can't process it and complains hours to days later about it. She's one of those unexpected people that phased into my life like Captain Kirk does to unknown planets and has stuck around in a good way. She's a great and close friend that I won't ever be without. She's someone that can sit and listen to me no matter how badly I may have messed up.

Her insights may confuse me but in the end she can set me on the right path to dealing with my problems. Dependable and empathetic. Vicki's something great and unbelievable.

Victoria, here's to you.

Nate, which rhymes with Late.

It was a toss up for first between Nate and Michelle I won't lie, but in the end Michelle won because she was online. Nate has been my partner in crime for quite a while. A few years to be exact. Our partnership has been one marked with pretty much anything and everything possible.

Nate is someone extraordinary and amazing, and just special beyond comprehension. He may seem like the good kid with every hair in place but don't let him fool you. He's just that, a master of deception. He's basically turned it into an occupation. You really have to be close to Nate and know him to see his truly evil side. I'm glad I got to see it, because let's be honest, otherwise he'd be a pretty boring kid. Now some people may say I corrupted him into that, but no. He started out that way and half the shenanigans we did were actually more his fault than mine.

Nate is a great guy though. He's honest, shy, and a loner. He's got a sharp tongue and a bitter sense of humor but he's merciful when he wants to be. He's dependable to a fault and loves things in order but willing to let a hurricane ruin his orderly life. He had to be to allow someone like me to get so close to him.

Nate is one of my greatest friends and someone I'll never be able to live without, no matter what goes down or how much we fight. The last few years have turned us into that. He's been many things to me, but through it all, I love this guy and I'm so glad to have him in my life. I'm pretty sure he more or less feels about the same too. We're a dynamic duo that should never have meshed the way we did, but by some cosmic mistake, a friendship that'll last forever was formed.

Here's to Nate. Late, obnoxious dunce, jerk, confidante, sweet, pyromaniac, Nate.

My Michelle, my belle

I decided that I want to do a blog for various people, lets see how many people I actually get through before I get bored with this.

So of course as soon as this idea formed, who else would be first except Michelle. Michelle Michelle, my favorite Michelle. She's many things great and not. One thing I can always be sure of, is no matter how much we clash or disagree, we'll never stop bonding over something random and stupid and be great again.

Michelle is something unlike anyone else. Illogical yet linear. Hilarious and outlandish. The only person in the world that could convince me to wear make up and the only person who's fashion advice I will follow, mostly out of fear of what she'll do to me if I don't..

Trolling was made for someone like her. The only person I know that can disconnect every emotion and feeling in her body if it means she can cut some stranger down for her own amusement. Someone that can like every thing she simultaneously hates a lot of times without even knowing. Someone able to follow the crowd yet ridicule it at the same time legit like.

Someone beautiful outside and a Monet painting inside.

Someone there for me when I need it no matter what.

Someone so extreme yet so lazy.

Someone I could never find again in this world.

Michelle.

Mr. Villa it seems you have a case of the awesome.

So I felt the need to dedicate my next blog to my academic advisor at Miami, Orterio Villa. He's a youngish (20s) ruffian that came to us from Western Illinois. His basic job seems to be keeping everyone in line, giving first year advise to students for scheduling and being the next link in command for the RA's. I pretty much had a basic outline of what I wanted to take next semester so the only time I actually needed him for work related reasons it was about 5 minutes and we were done with the meeting, yet I've spent quite a few hours just hanging in his office when I was bored just bothering him like I'm known to do.

Like today for example we spent maybe ten minutes or so talking about cartoons we remember from our childhood with like five to ten minutes just on our favorite X-men characters and which ones were more bamf than other ones.

We've had quite a few random talks and he's slammed the door in my face a few times when I was bothering his work. He makes fun of me a lot (but really a lot of people do that anymore..) and he's known to just break into song.

So here's to you Orterio. One great advisor.

Operation Compose a Heavy Metal Song

So for my heavy metal music class, my final project before exams was to compose a heavy metal song. I've known about this, technically all year, but the assignment was officially given a few weeks ago. It's due tomorrow today later morning, and I have just finished it now, at 1:04 AM. After starting it about 3 hours ago. Heck yes I feel good. So I decided to post it on here and would be interested in what you think. Here goes.

Abandon All Hope


This familiar limbo you left me in
Makes the lust we feel a friendly sin.
I'm a glutton for the love you'd give,
My greed needed it for me to live.

(Chorus)
I'm laying, laying twisted in my sheets
You left me no choice, I accept defeat.
Lucifer and I, we go way back
We're frozen together, no will to attack.


Now my anger knows no bounds
Your sweet heresy's not what it sounds
My emotions rain violence upon you
Let the world see your fraud anew.

(Chorus)


Your treachery left me with no room to cope.
You gave me nothing but to abandon all hope.

(Chorus)






So that's what I came up with in the wee hours of the night and from actually buckling down. It was easier once I got the first few lines in my head, though I couldn't really say the musical background to it that much. It's really not that heavy metal subject wise, but play it with enough distortion and we have a winner. It feels more alternative to soft rock to me in subject minus the fact that every line has a Dante's Inferno reference. Each line is a different layer of Hell going deeper down each time, with the chorus being the very bottom of it all, frozen in ice and loss of free will with Lucifer. Then the title is based on the sign he sees upon entering the inferno; "abandon all hope ye who enter here." Did I do a good job? Oh well. I like it I guess.

My Bucket List

Bucket List- A list of things to do before you die. Comes from the term "kicked the bucket".


So following the tradition of many college age people I have a bucket list. I've actually had one for a while but decided to put a condensed version of it on here and strike items off as I go. Maybe even include some items that I have already stricken off for funsies. Though I am curious what are some things people have on theirs. Michelle showed me hers, and it helped motivate me to actually write this blog post that I had in my mind a while back. So in no particular order, here's a taste of my probably too long bucket list.

1. Graduate with graduate school already lined up.
2. Study abroad for a semester.
3. Learn what Geocatching is
4. Backpack around Europe with someone important to me. 
5. Go cross country in America
6. Learn to ride a motorcycle.
7. Learn Japanese
8. Go to Japan
9. Become certified on the American Board of Forensic Anthropology
10. Take a cruise
11. Go to a tropical location
12. Buy a bean bag chair
13. Do a family tree
14. Learn to sail
15. Learn to snowboard
16. Learn to Ski
17. Learn to scuba dive
18. Fly in a plane
19. Go overseas
20. Ride on a sled with a sled dog team.
21. Use a high powered telescope to see something in the Universe
22. Face my stage fright and audition for one of the school plays
23. Dance with a classic umbrella in rain.
24. Get double digits subscribed to my blog.
25. Make an actually legit awesome costume for Ohayocon.
26. Help change a life.
27. Get someone to dance in public with me. 
28. Be part of a flash mob.
29. Be with friends on New Years not just my family. 
30. Be self sufficient
31. Have a decent job where I can pay my own bills
32. Own my own car.
33. Get someone to sing in public with me.
34. Play leap frog in the hallways at school
35. Learn how to find the songs I bookmarked on Pandora
36. Learn Web design
37. Learn how to waltz.
38. Attend the cherry blossom festival in Japan
39. Visit the Studio Ghibli museum and buy something there
40. Learn how to knit
41. Actually learn the dang guitar
42. Visit New York/live there for a while
43. See California, notably, Santa Monica and Los Angeles
44. Go to a rave.
45. Buy clothes in England
46. Go clubbing
47. Learn all the basic knowledge stuff that Michelle knows and I can't figure out on my own.
48. Start a meme.
49. Keep a plant alive
50. Own a hedgehog
51. Play with a baby sloth
52. See my brothers make it so all the bragging about them I do will actually mean something to others.
53. Finally plan the perfect awesome day with my friends. 
54. Go to the beach with friends.
55. Learn finances
56. Go to something black tie formal.
57. Learn an accent
58. Perform something in the street. 

Thats all I have for. That's the censored (that makes you wonder don't it? It's not what you think), shortened version of my bucket list. I hope I can do at least a third of this. Even if I don't do that much, I think it's nice to think of things I want to do with my life, not in a 'never going to do this' capacity but as something I have the possibility of actually doing some day. It's like having goals but so much more. Something that gives me satisfaction just to think about and the join of being able to cross something off is just amazing. So what's your bucket list? What do you want to do in your life? Do you ever think about that, or just live day to day? What things from it, can you do something about, and what things are just as life takes you? Do you have what it takes to just jump in and do what you can?